Shiloh's first years

We have been fortunate to gain access to someone in China who knew Shiloh as a baby when she was with a program that took care of her for 2007 and 2008. This organization is probably the one that helped to pay for her lip and palate repair. We got so many pictures and she was such an adorable baby! Many of the pictures are prior to her palate repair, but others are afterwards. We feel very blessed to have these pictures so we can piece together her history for her one day. Here is a peek at our sweet little girl....it makes me see how much I have missed but also how well she has been cared for. What a cute little personality.

My girls.....

The Red Thread...

April 24th....today is exactly two years since we first signed on the dotted line to start the process to adopt Shiloh. Yes, we knew her name long before we knew who she was, but the one thing that has been clear is that God knew who she was all along. The Chinese believe that all babies are born with an invisible red thread that connects them to all the people who will be important in their lives and that this red thread may stretch and bend but will never break. When we started this journey of adoption, I tied a red thread around my left wrist and I still have it on today. I will continue to wear it until we have Shiloh home. It has been a reminder to pray for her and about her. Sometimes Dakota wants a "bracelet" on as well and she will wear it several days praying for her sister too. So as I reflect on two years of waiting I think back to the first few months, when we were so excited about another daughter. We use to wonder if she had been born yet, we use to wonder what her story would be and we often wondered if we would wait the "three years that current families were waiting at the time." I can only kick myself that I didn't research that information a little better. As of this month (April 2010) families from 2006 are the first to wait 4 years for their healthy children from China. Thus our decision to switch from the healthy child program and think about a child with special needs. At our ages, this was the best path to take, but what I had not expected was a complete change in our adoption mission. As we began to look at various special needs and what we thought we could handle, it became clear that God was pushing us this direction....God had prepared our hearts to become open to a child who needed a family even more. Suddenly, it was the right thing to do and this was in May 2009 when we made the official change to accept a child with special needs. After waiting almost 6 months with our first Agency (And this is an excellent agency) we realized that we still had no idea when we would be matched with a child and the 12 months we were hearing, had become 16 months and possibly 22 months.....something that seemed so clear was slipping further and further away. Amazingly the process of looking for a special needs child opens your heart enough to know that it is just not about us but about the child. God's children who wait. This has truly been a growing process and a submitting to God process. When you adopt a child, it feel as if nothing is in your control but everything is pulling you in the right direction even though it feels like one step forward and one step back. But along the path of the unknown, things began to click. So as things would happen, I met Christina on an online chat group and she was with my same agency and had heard nothing in over a year herself. She mentioned she would probably transfer to another agency as China now allowed transfers from one agency to another if a child was found waiting on an agency specific list. I knew this back in May 2009 but Chuck was reluctant to swap agencies because our agency had such a good reputation. I didn't push about it too much, being hopeful we would hear something soon. Then one day Christina called and said she was transferring to another Agency and shared the name with me. I had already contacted two other agencies but had not found children on their lists that matched what we were looking for. I told Chuck that Christina had made the move and then the next day she called to tell me she had a son and that at this agency there were 5 little girls with minor needs just sitting there and waiting on families. I let Chuck know it was time and we were transferring agencies and there was no looking back. I contacted the new agency and it took me about 4 days to get them the paperwork they had requested. I was a little frustrated by this as I could have gotten everything in one day but each day I got something to them, they needed something else. So in 4 days I was set and the Social Worker for this agency called me with a file. We had been surprised as by the time 4 days was up, the 5 girls files were pending with other families. We quickly knew this was not our daughter, but we were ecstatic to actually view a file as we had never even been offerred a file from the previous agency, so at least this made us hopeful. And then later the same night (Nov. 18th, 2009) our social work called again with another file. We had looked at this little girl and I had even commented on how pretty she was, but of course she had been pending with another family so we didn't think we could get her file. We were told this family had made another decision. So we had the opportunity to view her file. She had just turned two and her special needs were what we could handle. I reviewed her file, what little info there was with two docs and Chuck and I decided this was Shiloh. It all fell into place, this was our daughter. It was too easy thanks to Christina's info and encouragement. So we gained a daughter, a new agency and for me a new group of friends. Five other ladies taking a chance, transferring to a new agency and claiming their children. We have named ourselves "the Renegades!" Women with an adoption mission but now friends supporting each other through the process. A really cool group of individual personalities all focused on the same event, bringing our children home. So again, as I reflect about the last two years and how we found Shiloh, with things seeming so very easy-all but the waiting...I have to think God knew these women too. The amazing thing is there is the possibility I will travel with a couple of them when we go to China. How incredible would that be and we are pretty sure this will happen. I am amazed that the Chinese belief of the red thread must also apply to the Renegades! We truly are sisters, helping each other, laughing, crying and waiting together. One of our group is already home with her beautiful 4 year old daughter and it has been an incredible story to follow. Two more of our group are next and very soon will go to get their children. And then the last three of us will follow not too long afterwards. God is good! So here is to Marsha (Already home with Anna Grace), Jean (Waiting on Elyssa), Diane (Waiting on Leanne), Christina(Waiting on Nathan) and Sarah (Waiting on Leah)...true renegades and good friends. And two years is a long time waiting. An Elephant stays pregnant for 22 months...we even beat that. Two years is a long time for a baby to wait for a forever home. Two years is a long time for a big sister to try to understand and two years is a long time for Grandparents to worry and hope with us. But the redthread connection has kept everyone hanging to hope and connected.

Nothing right now...quiet again this side of China

Someone at work today saw the updated pictures of Shiloh and said, "She really is so pretty, beautiful features." Of course we think so too! Nothing right now but waiting-how we are use to that, but I will say it is so hard waiting this close now. I think in another 2 to 3 weeks we will know more. I keep trying to get little things here and there done, but I know there will be so much to do once we get TA. Day to day we check email probably 5 times a day just to see if there is any news. We hope to be able to post to this blog while we are in China but we are hearing that others are having problems. If we cannot post, I will have a friend take care of it for me so that all of you can follow along....it is almost time for the journey of a lifetime to begin.

From Dakota...

Cousin Whitney and Dakota at Easter!"I LOVE YOU SHILOH. COME HOME TO OUR HOUSE SOON! LOVE DAKOTA."
Dakota wanted to help with blogging and so she typed this herself and picked the picture!

NVC Letter today!!!!!

Today was interesting. Chuck and I suspected we may have our NVC letter come by mail today, but we both had to be at work. So we planned for Dad to go to our house, check the mail and get the letter faxed to our agency. (The quicker this gets from our agency into the hands of those in Guangzhou (GZ) China...the faster things happen to get our Article 5--the next and last step before TA.) So Dad got the mail and the letter from NVC (National Visa Center) was there. He took it home to fax it but had trouble with the fax, so he called and brought it to me at the hospital. (Thanks Poppy!) I got it faxed and my Agency got it and our I-800 form from 4-6-10 sent to GZ!!!!! From what I understand this is about all we can do--no more hoops until we have to plan the trip and last minute paperwork!
As I sit and reflect on what I just wrote, it is almost shocking that we are at this point. April 24th is 2 years since we first started the process to bring a child home from China. (Longer than that since we made our decision to do so.) I believe that decision was December 2008. Dakota was 2.5. That is so hard to believe. She has had 3 birthdays through this waiting process. It is so hard to know what she has really understood about "baby Shiloh" coming to live with us forever. At first when she was around 3, she wanted to tell people, even people who just chatted with us in the grocery store. She has prayed at dinner consistently for this entire time for a little sister that she could not see or touch. She has talked about all the things she is going to do with and for her sister. All this time for such a "little" big sister to have to wait and try to understand. We have had to tell her, we will get Shiloh after another birthday and after another Christmas and after this event or that, since saying 24months is probably something she would not have understood. She so much wanted a tiny newborn sister that it was hard for her when we first accepted Shiloh and had an actual picture....her fist comments "that is not a baby". We had to explain that sometimes China allows you to have big babies and so it sunk in and there are days she asks me how much longer and there are days she does not want to talk about China or Shiloh. While I think having a new little sister will be so much fun for her, I sometimes already know there is a hint of jealousy. (Which is to be expected.) I so wish we could take her to China but it would be hard on her with the time change, lack of sleep and weird food. Still we know bringing Shiloh home impacts her little world heavily. She will not be the full center of attention and at times I do not talk so much about China or Shiloh, as I think she does get jealous of the attention we are paying to this child on her way. Recently, we visited family and a small 2 year old cousin played with Dakota all day. Dakota was so attentive to her and carried her around and got her a snack and a drink. (Even missed her once we were back home.) I think she will be a great big sister once Shiloh is home and settled. I expect that she alone will help Shiloh's transition into knowing we are her forever family. I catch myself relishing quiet minutes with Dakota while she plays or sleeps, knowing that soon I will have two to love and my time will be shared. We have this comfortable routine and now it is going to get jumbled up a bit, but for a good reason and in time that too will be a comfortable fit!

Word on our cable......

Today Chuck contacted the National Visa Center (NVC) and was told that our form/info was cabled to Guangzhou on April 9th!!! This is yet another process complete. We are now waiting on our NVC letter in the mail and once we get it, then we send a copy to our agency. From there we wait to recieve word from CCAA in China that we have travel approval (TA).....I cannot believe I am actually sitting here typing this. For way over two years I have been reading about other families at this point, thinking we may never get there....and here we are. It is really happening. We are going to China. Shiloh HongMei Turner will no longer be just a picture.....amazingly, I have been listening to a CD on how to speak in Mandarin Chinese that was made for adoptive families. lt is actually starting to sink in. I will be able to tell her I am her mommy, ask her if she is hungry or thirsty or if she needs to potty. These things could be important I think! So anyway, I cannot predict now just how long but I think we may know sooner than later about TA, given how fast these last processes have gone. I won't predict late May or early June, but I am sure hoping for either. I remember back in November when we first got the profile on Shiloh, I thought it would be such a long time to make it to Spring and it is here! Shiloh is almost here!

Bunk Beds

We bought Bunk Beds for Dakota and Shiloh's room. We are not sure if Shiloh will prefer a crib....in that case we have a co-sleeper she can use, but we are hopeful she will just "bunk" right in with her JieJie!!!! Take a look...

I-800 approval!!!

Our I-800 was approved--we got notice via email today!!! This is the last big step that we had to complete from what I understand. Now we wait on processes that lead to our TA-(Travel Approval!) The 24th of this month (April) is 2 years since we started the adoption process. Two years is a long time to live day to day knowing your child is waiting but not be able to find her or get her home. When I look back there were so many hurdles physically and emotionally. Forms to complete, items to mail as quickly as possible to then just sit for months with nothing but the unknown wait ahead of us. It took us a while to figure out this international adoption process and with help from my "Renegade" friends, we found the most beautiful child Hongmei waiting just for us where we were not looking. It has now been 4.5 months since we first viewed the pictures of our little girl, and 4.5 months of trying to wait each day patiently. While our wait will continue for a little longer, we now are hopefully on the down hill slide. We are thinking we will travel in June, early or late we are not sure. It is still a waiting game but for the first time in 2 years, I feel like this is really going to happen. We are really going to China and we are really going to meet our daughter and bring her home. I have to thank God for that...he has been with us the entire way, as he planned this family long before we were ever born. Please pray for us as we make preparations for this journey. Please pray for our safe travel with Poppy and for Dakota and Nana who will remain home. Please pray that Shiloh will understand we are her forever family and that she will not have a hard adjustment learning to love us.

Updated Photos...

These priceless photos were a surprise that came in the middle of the night from China. Look how much Shiloh has grown, of course she is bundled for the winter and her little red cheeks prove how cold it is in Baotou. The Orphanage answered a few of our questions stating that she drinks from a cup, loves snacks and though she does not smile much she is snappy but not strong willed. The nannies have said they think she will make a great leader one day! The little boy in the picture is her closest playmate Dang Fu Jun---isn't he cute too! She calls him "Gu-GU" which means older brother. (We got these pictures through Red Thread China. I had thought they would come after sending a care package and never got anything. I emailed Ann at Red Thread and she had forgotten to send them.) I am so happy I decided to ask! I opened these pictures this morning before work and could not take my eyes off her....isn't she beautiful and so petite.