Raising Girls

I write now and while my girls will tell you they hate to read, written words work for them both real well. At 11 and 8, sometimes wonder whether or not I am doing a good job with them. And when I think I am failing miserably a little something shines through letting me know I have done something right. Mornings we chat in the car on the way to school or daycare or Nana and Poppys. I am fresh in the morning and they are too. Conversations are bright and fun unless of couse one of us has gotten up from the wrong side of the bed. But I listen to their chatter. Moments when they are not bickering over something and enjoy the little women they are becoming. Wise to things at an earlier age than me. Smart in school. But my oldest has a cell phone...yes kind of you for it but it is second hand and she goes to middle school in less than a month. I want contact so the phone is for me though I have already had to handle an issue with girl drama because of the phone. Thst lesson was learned I hope. So when she texts me it seems all is a pile of complaints and I must filter through the tattle tale issues to pull out the real issue. Todays concerns were minimal her day not going as she wants and the rules not to her liking. So I didnt play into the issues but instead turned them around for her and gave her something to think about.

"Is this really important or something not worth stressing over and ruining your day?"

Her answer was of course still in support of griping about the issue.

"You do know this is small and you have a choice. It isn't about the rules. It is about how you react to the rules and that my dear is your choice. So you can decide if this is a good or bad day."

Still on the negative but thinking.

"Seriously you decide this. Is this small thing worth the fight or would you rather let it go and enjoy your day. Save your fights for the things that really need to be fought over and then discuss them instead of ranting."

Thoughts and a slow response of "OK."

"Learn this as a life lesson. Let the small things go and learn to listen. There is a reason for the rules. But if everything in your life is a fight...maybe you should look at yourself."

Quick response. "OK mom."

"Have a great day. Choose to have a great day
Hugs."

Later she thanked me when we discussed it in person.

"So how was your day?"

"Good."

"Did you decide it was good?"

Shrug

"Did you think about what I said?"

"Yes ma'am."

"So if your day turned good you must have made it that way."

"Yep. Thanks mom."

Not sure that was good or a quick way of saying I am done with this conversation but she smiled in spite of herself.

Win win? Yep.

Throwback Thursday.

Me and Chuck in October at one of my writing events.
He makes a good cowboy. All the women were grabbing him
and the highlanders for pictures. Too much fun!

Shiloh get's baptized

Shiloh was baptized on June 29, 2014. We are very proud she has made the decision to follow Jesus so early in her life. Isn't it amazing that a little girl found abandoned in North China, Baotou Inner Mongolia has found her way into our family and now has found way to Jesus. I suspect he had it all planned from day one!

Four years ago today.

June 22 marks four years since Shiloh came into out lives. This is one of the pictures of the first moments we were able to interact with her. The lady in the pink pants was our guide Cyndi and the other two ladies are the Ayi's (Nannies from the Baotou Inner Mongolia Social Welfare Institute.) Shiloh wouldn't let us pick her up at first but we had stickers and in the picture Chuck would hand her a sticker and she stuck them on us. Amazingly she only cried for about one hour when they all left. It was almost heartbreaking at the time because she really had no idea what was happening to her. I can imagine being left with total Caucasian strangers would be quite overwhelming to a two year and seven month old baby girl. My father traveled to China with us which was a great help and my mother stayed home to keep Dakota, which was an even greater help. But we were able to Skype with mom and Dakota so they didn't miss some of the special moments of the first days.


How can I sum up the four years? Just that I never have thought of Shiloh as any different that Dakota who I gave birth to. They are both my daughters and there is just no question at all there. It doesn't feel any different. In fact it almost feels like she has always been here. Regrets? Only that I didn't get to adopt Shiloh at a much younger age. She was such a cutie as a tiny baby. Hope? That she will grow just as Dakota into a mature and smart young woman who is successful in all she loves. Happy Gotcha Day Anniversary Sweet Girl!~~

Shiloh...

 
One of the referral pictures

The first time Baba's girl wanted him to hold her.

 McDonalds in China


And then Home Sweet Home....forever family first moments... Just remembering the prayer and yearning to get to China and then the moments getting this sweet baby home. July 2nd if the four year anniversary of Shiloh stepping foot in American and finding her forever home and forever family. We love you sweet girl.




Forever

Dakota...

Just looking through some old photos and scan and came across this one. This is Dakota before we knew if Dakota would be a boy or a girl. I remember the specialist--because I was advanced maternal age--saying "Oh great...your having an alien." But let 40 weeks pass and we got this...





Could anything be more perfect?

Shiloh and Jesus

!

So, Shiloh has made the decision to follow Jesus! She has been talking with us and our youth pastor Adam for some time. This isn't something we have pushed her to do, but something she has done on her own. Some people might look at this and think because she is only 6 that she is to young. Funny, but Dakota made the same decision at that very same age. My theory is she is not too young when she won't let go of pushing to make things happen. I just think it is amazing that this little girl who entered out life only four short years ago, from Baotou Inner Mongolia, has gained a heart to follow her savior. she might have never had that opportunity if she had remained in China. I know we will all continue to enjoy watching her amazing life unfold into the beauty it was meant to have and this is just the start. Congratulations little girl. Mom, Dad and Dakota are very proud of you!