Here's looking to 2010 and Shiloh coming home...

Smile Little girl...2010 is almost here and we will count down day by day until we get you home.

THE LEGACE OF AN ADOPTED CHILD

Once there were two women who never knew each other
Once you do not remember, the other you call mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star and one became your sun
The first one gave you life and the second taught you to live it
The first one gave you a need for love and the other was there to give it
One gave you a nationality and the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent and the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions and the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile and the other dried your tears
One made an adoption plan, that is all that she could do
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you
Now which of the two women are you a product of
Both my darling, both, just two different types of love
-Unknown-

"Be assured that if God waits longer than you wish, it is only to make the blessing all the more precious."

Nana gives Shiloh a makeover....

Nana decided that Shiloh needed a hairbow and some girly clothes on her picture for Christmas! This picture was up to help us celebrate on Christmas Eve at Nana and Poppy's house! How can you miss someone you have never met? We do miss you! Just imagine...this time next year will be way different....

Merry Christmas!!!

Watch out world...Dakota is behind the wheel!!!! Thanks Santa!

Merry Christmas Little Girl:)

We love you and wish you were here! We know next year you will be here with us to celebrate our Savior's birth! We will celebrate together. Merry Christmas! How can such a happy occasion feel like someone is missing!

Finding Ad came in the mail...

We recieved Shiloh's finding ad yesterday in the mail. We were happy it had yet another picture of her that we didn't already have. She would have been around a year and 3 months old when this ad was placed about her finding details. This means she was not made available for international Adoption until after this ad was completed. It could also mean that her file could have been with another agency prior to getting to Barker a month before we accepted her file. This is another piece of her history that we are glad to have as this may be important to her one day. What a cutie!

Santa Claus is coming to town...

Dakota was a little nervous about talking to Santa this year. Santa actually lives in our neighborhood during the off season, but he was back home for a visit with Ms. Claus. Dakota finally found her courage to sit in his lap and tell him what was on her list. She is looking for an electric car, a brat doll and some games. She also had a special request for Santa to deliver her little sister a doll to China. What a good big sister!

Care Package to our girl....

We have sent Shiloh a package that included the following items: A doll, pajamas, a pillow with our picture, candies for the nannies, blanket, a camera for taking pictures of her, and a letter to her translated into Chinese. Merry Christmas "Baby Shiloh!" We hope the SWI workers will allow her to have the items but we do hear from some families that they get back the items and they have not been touched. We will see what happens. I wish there was a way to send a hug and get one in return. For now we will just blow kisses in the wind.

Let's compare...

Look What We Got For Christmas!!!

New pictures of Shiloh came in today from our Agency. I can't believe how beautiful she is and how quickly we got these. Of course I called Chuck and sent them to him at work. This was an incredibly pleasant surprise and a very big Merry Christmas present for our family. Dakota was very excited and said, "Mommy I love her, can we go get her now." Shiloh looks so healthy and she looks to be handling the stairs just fine on her own! Everyone in the family is ready to go get her. I thought the waiting was hard when I didn't have a clue who she was, but somehow the wait now is even harder. I did get word that our Care Package should get to her in a few days. I am hoping the nannies will show her our picture on the pillow and she will see us holding up her picture. Merry Christmas little girl:)

Merry Christmas
(Third Day)

There's a little girl trembling on a cold December Morn
Crying for Momma's arms
At an orphanage just outside a little China town
Where the forgotten are
But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mone
It's Christmas time again and you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And I tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas
As I hand the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights
I'm warmed by the firs's glow
Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white
make Angels in the snow
But half a world away you try your best to fight the tears
And hope that heaven's angels come to carry your here
It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas
Christmas is a time to celebrate the holy child
And we celebrate his perfect gift of love
he came to earth to give his life
and prepare a place for us
So we could have a home with him above
It's Christmas time again and now you're home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I'll hold you in my arms
And I'll tell you from my heart and I'll tell you from my heart
I wish you Merry Christmas

Big Sister...

I have spent a lot of time on here talking about Shiloh and all the plans, so today I wanted to talk about the "big sister". This is a role that Dakota has already been taking so seriously. I have to say that it has been Dakota who has prayed daily for this little sister whom she thought would show up wrapped in a tiny blanket. (So of course with her first glimpse she quickly summed up "baby Shiloh" with "THAT IS NOT A BABY!") But she has carried a picture of Shiloh to school for show and tell. She now prays that her sister is warm and fed and has toys. She tells me she is going to hold her first when we bring her home and that she will sit her in "time out" if that is needed. (This is going to be interesting.) I will still have to say that it has been Dakota who has continued to remember Shiloh with prayers daily for over 21 months and this is in spite of not understanding the wait. She was 3 when we started this journey of adoption, how on earth could she have understood these months of waiting when I could not even understand it myself. She has often asked me "Mommy are we ever going to get our baby Shiloh?" Of course I always tried to reassure her while myself wondering if we would ever make a trip to bring a baby named Shiloh home. Everything Dakota draws at school with family, she includes Shiloh and has for months. She says she will teach Shiloh to count and how to say her ABC's. She already wants me to buy her a "big girl" carseat so Shiloh can have her other one. I think she will be good with Shiloh but I also think she will be jealolus as she has had our undivided attention for 4.5 years.

Finding ad...

I was able to order Shiloh's finding ad today. (When a child is found, the orphanage has to run an ad in the paper for so many days, usually with a picture of the child and where the child was found.) So the company rep called and said he had Shiloh's add, and he also had the original newspaper as well. He is going to translate it and have it sent to us. Apparantly, Shiloh's ad was placed in Feb. 2009...so this means she was not placed for adoption until after her surgeries, as this is usually done right after birth. My guess is they waited until she had her repair....I hope to be able to research or ask exactly what happened. One day, for her, I think it will be important to find all we can about the details of her early life. I was actually hoping for a new picture with the finding ad, but my guess is it might be one that we already have.

Picture for our Pillow sent to Shiloh...

Transfer Process....

OK, so our original agency has sent the transfer letter to CCAA in China. (After the first letter had some errors....this is a trying process but I suppose our old agency is not happy we found our child elsewhere.) Now our new agency will send a letter to CCAA that they are accepting us. The process for official transfer can take a month. Meanwhile, immigration got our newest home study so we wait again for another fingerprinting appointment. The good thing is the first renewal is free:) We (thank God) will not have to renew again. Last night we had our picture made as a family holding up Shiloh's picture. We sent her a care package with Red Thread China and that picture will be put on a pillow for her. She will also get some pajamas, a doll, candy for the nannies, a camera so maybe we will get more pictures and a few other little items. Apparently, this agency's owner has the inside connection to sometimes get new pictures...so even though Christmas is not celebrated...Shiloh is getting some love from this side of China.

Amazing Grace...

This month marks the one year anniversary of our Dossier arriving to China. While China counts our wait from this date, we really have now waited about 21 months since making the decision to adopt. 21 months has seen Dakota evolve from a toddler into a very headstrong little girl-every bit like her mother:) 21 months have passed with us counting one day at a time....waiting for a child we did not know. We have now had 16 days of looking at the pictures of Shiloh HongMei Turner......I still cannot comprehend that my new daughter is over 7000 miles away...it feels like it might as well be the moon. She is 2. I have missed all her firsts...smile, words, steps and 2 birthdays.....did someone sing to her on her birthdays....she has been through 2 surgeries with no mommy to hold her and make it better.....she has lost a birth mother and a family and when we bring her home a country and culture....she has lost a past we may never be able to know about.......how do I ever make up for all she has lost and all I have missed? I do have to take a step back and look at how this all happened. It was such an easy decision when we decided to adopt. I think to that first month that we knew we were heading to China. It felt like then it was so far away, like maybe it might or might not ever happen. You go through so many emotions....are we doing the right thing for our family....will we love her....will she love us....and you wait and wait. People are interested and supportive, but after 21 months some stop asking or are afraid to......"nothing"....."no news"...it is quiet this side of China. But the months pass and you hang onto hope somehow. I can say that my pregnancy with Dakota was very hard, but International adoption???? I have built a Dossier...7.5 months (I am woman, hear me roar!), I have battled downtown to have paperwork authenticated, together as a family we have prayed daily for over 21 months about this child we did not know, we have laughed, we have cried, we have been happy for the little news and progress and angry at the system, we have explained over and over to a big sister about an unknown wait and a possible little sister-A big sister who didn't understand the concept of 21 months or an unknown wait, we have lost sleep, we have danced in the living room at receiving 1 piece of approved paperwork that does not signify much but one more step in government process here or in China,.......I could go on and on. And then we found her...or she found us, and in 16 days....I cannot even count the things that let us know that this is our daughter and God has a plan. Things fell into place so easily in spite of the paperwork and proving and mailing and calling and emailing.....and even changing agencies.

• Shiloh shared my Grandfathers Birthday 11-11-07
• She was found on a street in China on my Mom and Sister's birthday 11-14-07
• A group of waiting adoptive moms (The Renegades) like me have formed our own support group
• I have been in contact with families who have video of the orphanage where Shiloh is and it does look nice for an orphanage in China
• I have made contact with a family right here in Fayetteville that is waiting for their daughter in the same orphanage as Shiloh....we hope to allow them to grow up here together so they have a connection-How amazing is that?
• I prayed that we would find our child in one of the farthest unusual places in China...and very few kids from Inner Mongolia have been adopted..although I think the programs there are growing.
• I had a dream when I was pregnant with Dakota. I dreamed Chuck and I went to the NICU to see Dakota, but when we got there, a little 2 year old girl with black hair was waiting on us and knew I was her mom...isn't that weird, as at that time China was not in my mind.
• Of course Dakota's first response was "that is not a baby" when she saw Shiloh's picture-we had to explain that China sometimes give you older babies and she has warmed up to the idea of Shiloh already being big enough to play
  

While all of this is simply coincidence, I can't help but believe that this is all part of what God planned in the beginning. Yes, I have been taught a lesson in patience with giving birth and now adopting. Chuck has always said that we would know who Shiloh was in 2009, I just didn't want another Christmas to pass without at least a picture on our tree. I cried the night Chuck put Shiloh's picture right next to Dakota's on our tree. I do not have to be sad about it this Christmas. Grace is Amazing...(I first knew that the day Dakota was born and now I get to live it again:)

We got PA today!!!!!!!!!!

We got the message today from our new agency that we have PA (Pre-Approval). This is another step closer to bringing Shiloh home:) We are really excited that this came so fast! Now to all the documents, telling our old agency goodbye and finally moving forward.